such brutal thorns
on the wild rose
as it opens
its simple faces
to the sun

frosty morn —
how summer grasses
on the hillsides
is but a memory


These tanka are in response to poems by Masaoka Shiki posted on Carpe Diem Haiku Kai by Jen of Blog It or Loose It.

They are also to do with a past love, with problems and illness within that relationship.


14 thoughts on “Thorns

  1. Lovely, lovely, lovely, B !! Somehow reminds me of Basho:

    Ah! Summer grasses!
    All that remains
    Of the warriors’ dreams

    I like yours better! *g*


  2. Such powerful contrasts in the first — sweet faces, harsh thorns — but I’m really swept up in the pain in the second tanka — the memory of flowing grass under the frost is really breathtaking. Wow!

  3. Roses have thorns for protection. And yet the frost can chill the petals through.
    I was thinking of the veins of the petals, like in a rotted leaf, that you can see the structure of what was supporting the color and the life – and yet time must move us forward. We can drop our own ‘thorns’ those memories that hold us back and then we bloom. I’d like to think we can do that.

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