having been
burnt to its roots
the parsley thrives
and I take it
as a metaphor
the wagtail
on its wings of frailty
expresses
in its flight
something like joy
sometimes
my dead mum comes
wearing a sun hat
flowers and secateurs
in her hands
the heart
that breaks and breaks and breaks
until
there’s beauty
even in that
a seedling weed
it’s virility pushing
towards seed
what will I plant now
in the burnt garden of my heart
these happy flowers
of the onion weed
nod their heads
and here I am with
my murderous intent
twittering
out of sight
some unknown bird
about its business
of eating and loving
following
the heart’s happiness
I find
I quite enjoy
hanging out washing
that I am earth
lying here on it
gazing at the sky
sometimes the mind
needs rest, and so …
.
By Sunday, we will have a roof on the structure that will be our home! Lock up next week. Wow! It looks enormous perched on the hillside on its piles of excavated dirt. With the partly enclosed veranda it is a slightly larger floor plan, but is actually a little less tall than our old house, but because it has no trees around, it sticks out like … a new build on a bare hill. The old house nestled in like it wasn’t there. It was, in fact, just as visible but no one noticed it. Now we have people saying, ‘Dean called me out to the veranda the other day and said, “Look over there. We can see Ervin and Belinda’s new house.”‘ They always could because I looked, standing there one day.
The veranda will be able to be closed with shutters, if it ever has to face down flame again. Otherwise we would have to shift anything flammable inside, not something you want to have to do while running.
Today we will finalise choices on the kitchen cabinets. On Friday it was choosing for the bathroom. All I can say is I am glad I have our wonderful daughter managing all this, and managing me and holding my hand when confronted with a vast array of possibilities, tiles for e.g..
Belinda Broughton 
Inspiring, and full of hope for a better future!
🙂 thanks Carolyn. It feels very good!
That’s great to hear, Belinda!
Loved reading the tanka, in each there was something I could relate to. So glad the new house is beginning to take shape after the disastrous fire. Wishing you all the best.
Thank you Madhuri. I am so glad you liked the tanka. 🙂
“what will I plant now
in the burnt garden of my heart”
What I see is a constant planting, Belinda, at the core of which, however tremulous at times, lies a resilience akin to that of the burnt parsley, the flitting wagtail, the seedling weed. In your close observation of such things and the acknowledgement of metaphor, you display your own nature, and its willingness for renewal. Indeed, the burnt garden of your heart seems a place already of wild profusion. It is instructive to me and inspiring! I’d love to be able to bottle the essence of it and give it to my children to drink!!!!
Certainly tremulous at times! So I just have to stick to one thing after the other, because it is still overwhelming. So many decisions!
Your children probably have the propensity for great resilience actually. I’m not sure one knows until one is tested. And even then sometimes the ‘weakest’ survive. And then there is the play of luck, whatever it is! And we have been blessed with a lot of that. People laugh when I say that, but it’s true. Who knows what the effect of things like this are? We will end up with a more secure building, among other things.
Your blog is amazing 🙂
Thank you!