recovery update

For those of you not on Facebook, an update. We have foundations!

At this point Ervin and I made a special trip up there and danced on them.

We even have frames!

Ervin looks out our bedroom window

I hit rock bottom about a week before the foundations. I found that I couldn’t teach a workshop that I was booked for. I just did not have the space in my brain, or the energy to write the learning materials. So I pulled the plug.

The workshops were meant to be about haiga and haiku, a very rich subject.

The relief was enormous and everyone understood. Later one of the participants said, ‘Thank you for reminding us that it is right to look after ourselves first, when we need to.’ Well, thank you for being so kind, but in reality I had no choice, I would have wept all over everyone, and no one would have learned anything. But what she said is true and I hope many of us are realising it.

Then we got the foundations and like a metaphor, I suddenly felt grounded.

I can tell you it has been a year from hell but also an incredibly rich experience. My faith in humanity is restored. People are rich in empathy. The human race is made up of individuals and most have good hearts, even though our culture, lately, doesn’t foster a sense of community, it is still there.

And the earth is doing spring all over the show.

Sleeping in Short Grasses

catkinsThe sun weighs on my eyelids
like night tiredness,
and the earth pulls at my body
like the grave it will become.
Lie on me, it whispers.
Lie on me amongst
the grasses quivering to head,
amongst the vibrant faces of spring flowers,
the bees, the tiny flies,
the blue wren and his wives busy
and gossipping.

Perhaps the earth desires
we lie in short grasses
so that we will know
what cows know
so idle, they can hardly chew
that spring happens at ground level
amongst the musty mulch
of last summer’s bones;
that we open our eyes to it
that we open our eyes
after a short dreaming sleep
of warmth and buzzing things.

 

 

This is not a new poem but I share it because we are still having days like these.